Monday, December 6, 2010

Simply thoughts: Announcement of "Words of Love" - written by Carma...

Simply thoughts: Announcement of "Words of Love" - written by Carma...: "Love is such a poweful emotion. It can bring great joy but it can also bring destruction. Unrequitted love, rejection, manipulation, betray..."

Announcement of "Words of Love" - written by Carma Jewell

Love is such a powerful emotion. It can bring great joy but it can also bring destruction.  Unrequitted love, rejection, manipulation, betrayal, broken trust all these steal the joy of love and can affect one's character leaving one feeling insecure. 

This insecurity filters through into your entire life, can affect friends and family, can affect new relationships and can even affect your career when depression and lack of self confidence sets in.

Words of Love was written out of pure passion to heal broken hearts.

Each poem/words of prose is accompanied  by a graphic to assist the user to identify with the emotion expressed in each experience of love.  The words share real life emotions felt by so many but more importantly each one ends in hope.

It is a gentle and caring reminder to all never to give up on true love due to past experiences.

Be a part of my "Heal the heart", spread the love and hope and if one heart is touched the book is priceless!

For those that are interested, this is the link to the book.  Do it for you, keep the "Words of love" close to your bedside and in troubled moments pick it up so that you are reminded that you are not alone in your experiences and that you can change your heart and embrace new love or rekindle a current one.

all my love to you all, always

Carma Jewell

Thursday, October 21, 2010

The Birthday Party

The smell of sweet baked cake fills the kitchen..Ok so my circle for my number 9 cake for my son looks like a volcano filled with crators...never claimed to be a baker and it goes down to the philosophy behind the words "It's the thought that counts!"..Ok so the cake will be devine when done but like an artist that paints it looks like a mess until the final layer comes on the finishing touches that create the masterpiece...So I am dreaming thats fine too...your masterpiece is yours and as long as you think it's one and your son thinks you are an awesome mom, does the rest even matter?
Life, I sit and think how blessed I am as I prepare for my sons birthday party.  Blessed that both his parents together can give him a wonderful party...BUT there is a part of me that feels we would have had love and joy without the number 9 cake, without the MASSIVE jumping castle to entertain 15 bubbly screaming kids, without the "Special birthday present".
Let's take it all away,just for a moment and appreciate life and what we have.
A mother sits, her heart aching because she has no money to spoil her child.  Her family lives a life where they are blessed to have a plate of food.  Toys are old boxes, home made inventions, a ball that has lasted years.  Is her son unhappy?  NO, why? Because they have LOVE.  They have love and happiness and they have each other.
The mom scrapes enough money together to bake a cake for her little boy.  They invite the neighbourhood kids for a play.  The games - no jumping castle...what now?  Hide and seek, tag, soccer, the boys are going to have such a great time.  The birthday so sorry my son, its plain vanilla, Mommy did not have enough money for icing or candles.  And the present, my son mommy is so sorry I can't afford a present but we can have your friends to play, I thought that would be really special.
The little boy turns to his mommy...."Mommy thank you so much!  i don't need a present, I have my friends and my family and that means more than a present that can't hug me or love me.
The jumping castle mom and the home choice games mom.....which child will be happier and which child will have more fun....I will tell you simply it is the child that feels the most LOVE in his world that will have the most fun.
Let us not forget the small things in life where money is not needed and an abundance of it can never give it...LOVE.  Keeping things simple, keeping things real...

thank you God for the precious gift of my son, I would have been happy being the home choice game mom and I know my son would have been just as happy because his world is surrounded with so much love.  Thank you that Joshua can have his jumping castle, that I can bake that volcano cake full of crators.

all my love Carma Jewell

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Am I doing something wrong or am I actually doing something right?

When you find yourself in a situation where there are negativie common denominators, the norm would be to assume that it is you who are doing something wrong.
Relook the situation and you may be pleasantly surprised to find you are actually doing something right and all that did not serve you is removed from your world.
There are so many courses on self love, self healing, find yourself go on...stop being lost, know who you are...One day you do. You start picking at the issues in your life that have made you afraid...
You tackle them like a bull to a red cloth.
One by one...bit by pick, deal, understand and heal.
Surely your character that was moulded by past pain regains the shape you were born to inherit.  If this is the case, surely much that is in your past life did not serve you including people and when you change so does  your world and every one in it.
I have had a look at myself as an individual, sure I have made many mistakes, perhaps hurt some people in my path of self destruction.  BUT my heart is pure and the mistakes of my past were circumstantial to my survival mechanisms, they were not with intent.
Suddenly my world seems different.  I see people for who they are and not who they pretended to be.  I see them for the needs they had of me, the time they fed off me, or perhaps the times I needed them when my soul was broken.
Now my soul is whole, my heart no longer pains with disappointments.  I was helpless at times and my expectations, my neediness was rife.  It's all gone and the unconditional love I had exists now not because I am desperate for love or acknowlegement, it remains because that is who i was all the time.  A person that forgave everything, but sadly at the same believed it was all I deserved and it was all my fault.
My world seems different...there are those that enter because they need me, then they leave. My heart no longer aches so I don't search for them.  Not because I don't care but because I understand and accept why I existed in their space in the first place.  So I don't leave but I don't go to them either.  The integrity of my friendship questioned, tested, tested, tested over and over again. 
My heart simply says...if my existance is not missed, I was never really needed.  And thats ok, this is how the world is..people enter for a moment, a season or a lifetime.  I cannot create lifetimes on my own anymore, I don't want to, not because i love less, but because I love myself more.  I vote for me.
And if the me, I have finally grown to love does not serve your world then i should not be in it either.
Keep your heart pure always, for then you will see through new eyes, all that which is a moment and was never meant to be a lifetime.
I understand I am not perfect, I also know I am worth loving and if I am not perfect and I am not worth telling so I may fix that which you think I did wrong, then you really do not value my heart.
Surround yourself with peace, happiness and love always...
There is no need to hang onto negative energy, stubborness, you will lose so many that you truly love.

The Online "VULTURES"

They sit there waiting, waiting for the vulnerable, the lonely, the needy, the ones that battle financially, the ones searching for love...They sit waiting for their prey.
Ruthless in nature, emotionless, its a profession nothing more..lets get down to business, who can we scam today. 
The victims through the eyes of the vultures...they are just victims, they have no feelings, no family, no heart...simply targets from which to steal both financially and morally.
Yes I say morally because the victims believes, the victim trusts, when that crash hits, the moment they realise the person they trusted took them for a ride, thats the moment they feel morally broken.
The online scammer, what a wonderful profession, take what you want from whoever you choose to scam.  You don't even need a degree all you need is a black heart, be part of the devil's flock and the job is yours.
Hey sweetheart, im your friend I understand you are lonely, Im not like the rest, Im real...they build build and build until you trust...then the heart stopping question comes..."Please can you help me" followed by some sob story and then those words "Could you please help me with some money"...
Is this your friend? does a complete stranger have no friends that they need to ask you for you have STUPID written on your profile pic...if you don't then you may as well get a sticker, paste it on your head and maybe you will be lucky enough that NO VULTURE will find you.
They are like little butteflies in presence and then turn in gremlins in your heart when you realise how malicious their actions are.  How they did not care about you at all.  How they felt they had the right to enter your life and feed off your weaknesses.
They are common thieves but they hide in your computer with false identities, false documents, professional letters all done up to fool you....
Beware, just take care and get yourself some vulture repellent.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Cyber friendships

I sit here today thinking about cyber friends, these are people you meet on line, develop friendships with and eventually in time either remain life long friends or just accept that your friendship was there during a moment in time where real live people were not around or the person went into hibernation only allowing themselves and their computer to exist.
I immigrated to New Zealand just over three years ago and it forced me into the cyber world, a world that gives you joy mostly for periods in time.  I made the fatal mistake of thinking cyber friends would be as close to me as my friends that I had met in real life...a very unique situation if your cyber friend actually lasts outside of their moment or your moment of hibernation.
I was forced into the cyber world because I felt myself in a place where I had to make new friends and because I have hobbies or interests that keep me at home, I spent most of my time with my computer and hence most of my new friends lived in it.  They are my cyber friends.
I got very attached to one or two of them and felt really hurt when they went out of hibernation and started needing real people around them and their need to talk to me became almost nonexistent. I was hurt at first and then I realised that being around real people was normal and cyber friendships were really for those who were alianating themselves from society, had no friends, was bored in their relationship, was on a rebound from a broken relationship or were in my situation, a new country.
Three years down the line I had my cyber lessons..Where has it left me?  With the acceptance that cyber friendships really only last for as long as the hibernation period is required.  The moment the need for real people returns the cyber friendship takes a fourth seat, not second, but fourth, maybe tenth.
I learnt to accept this and I sit and watch as my cyber friends enter my life and then disappear when their needs change.
Do I now sit and validate the quality of their frienship...NO..I simply accept one thing...that if a cyber friendship ends and less and less time is spent doing what you used to with your cyber buddy, if both parties do not feel the absence of each other, then we put it into the cyber friend category without attachment to them, without condition and with the acceptance that they entered when they needed you and have now left....
Life is far too short to analyse things, to take things to is easier just to move onto the next cyber buddy.
However, there are some cyber friends which I met in person and love dearly, they have moved from cyber category to real mates and there they shall live in my heart forever without condition.  Some cybers that became real and actually love me enough to sacrifice some of their real time, with live people and respect that I too am a real person, those are my friends that stay for life.  The others without intention will become just another friend.
We all have choices in our lives.  No matter where in the world our friends are, the amount of time we invest or the means by which we communicate all comes down to choice.  Is my friend important enough to make the effort with....OR...mmmm nope.....I need only real people in my life, the cyber connection was simply what I needed at the time.
For me the value of friendship has intensified...the respect for friendship priceless...and the existence of those that stay and make the effort will be treasured by me forever.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Believe in yourself, love yourself..

Ok so we got to believe in ourselves and love ourselves.  How easy or how difficult would you say this is.
Sure, if we had no weaknesses which inturn resulted in negative influences to capsize our lives it would be very easy to achieve.
Have you ever sat down with a few friends and spoken about "Life", happy life stuff, how excited you are, how well you are doing..have you noticed how bored some people in that circle get? NO? test it out...
THEN test when you start gossiping about others, saying hurtful negative things, talking about what a tough thing this thing called "Life" is..and BOY does the conversation not last hours?
So  my message to all you good people out there, YES YOU! for we are all good at core level..before you throw a negative comment, before you say  you are going to fail....its not going to work, it did not work for me..oh NO, there is no way you can achieve could be ruining the future of someone you supposedly love.  Oh yes we all think we are GREAT mates for telling it directly, but what makes us decide in that split moment that it is far better to directly say it will never work, you will never succeed, rather than to say, "Buddy, im there for you no matter what and as long as you are giving it your best shot, there is no reason why you should fail!"
Why would your purposely be a part of someone's failure when you can celebrate their success?
Oh let's not forget "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me."....what a lot of bull! Words are sometimes much more devastating than any stick or stone...they can HURT like you will never believe and the scars they can leave are far worse than a bruise or grazing caused by a stick or a stone..those at least heal way faster.
Stand by your friends, don't watch them fall because someone said "You have to be cruel to be kind"
Shoo those words came flying out why? Because i woke up one morning and decided to put my writing into a book..send it to publishers all over the world...yeh I had the goetspa (I think thats how you spell it) and guess what someone came back and decided to give me a chance....How many people stood by me, and believed in me and how many thought, there is NO WAY can't just wake up one morning throw a book together and think someones going to publish it...I mean come on man, don't you watch movies? It takes years of hard work to put a book together....Great inspiration!  Well I did NOT listen, I was belchy..I stood tall..very tall and sent it off.  NOW hopefully before christmas another author will be born into this world and her name is Carma Jewell.....
So my friends, if you have a passion for something, DO IT!  You are 99% of the way there.  Don't let the negativity of all the failure stories get to you, don't let that 1% ruin your dreams..  Yes it is possible that the 1% can weaken your 99% belief in yourself.  Trust me, I know I have listened so many times to the 1% in the past and the significance of their input as a result of my own personal weaknesses caused me to take my dream and leave it under my pillow instead of above my head like a beautiful painting.